Modesty

Modesty means different things to different people. So when a friend of mine asked me to come speak to her Young Women’s group at church about fashion and modesty it kind of threw me considering modesty isn’t necessarily something I am known for… as you can see from my Jr. high and High school pictures.  

The fashion thing I got- but modesty?

I have matured a lot since my high school days and when I say matured I really mean I got myself some self-esteem and “true” confidence. I don’t recommend anyone to dress the way I did back then but nonetheless it is the modesty requirements set by the LDS (Mormon) faith that is giant hurdle for me to cross and one of the main reasons I have not joined although my husband is active in the faith and would love nothing more for me to be a part of it as well. And, truthfully I wish I could be apart of it, I wish I could be that for him and promise him eternity because I really believe it is a good thing. But with that said and as petty as it sounds I personally feel there is nothing wrong with showing your shoulders- and I am obsessed with anything that is backless *swoon* and these things are definitely not garment approved- throw in the fact that I am also anti-underwear… is there really any hope? I often joke to my husband that we can be sealed in the temple when we are in our 70’s since really- I will need all the underwear support I need at that point and no one wants to see an old lady in a backless tank. (He doesn’t find me as funny as I do.)

So back to the challenge at hand- my viewpoint of modesty is different then the church’s- the church that these young ladies belong to and that I have been asked to speak to.  At this point I am really questioning my friend in choosing me- yes, I know I work in the fashion industry and these young girls will likely be impressed by my “credentials” but I am not LDS and I don’t follow the same rules of modesty that they do- how are they going to relate to me? Why will they even listen to me?

Most importantly how can I stay true to me and still give them what they need. I could easily stand up there and pretend that I am LDS and pretend that I follow their rules of modesty and completely BS it. But- I didn’t want to do that.

I do believe in Coco Chanel’s quote, “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous” and part of being classy is being tasteful, which often means leaving a bit more to the imagination.

My game plan was to not really talk about modesty in terms of the LDS faith, I’d leave that up to my friend, but I would instead talk about first impressions, taking pride in ourselves, but most importantly dressing for respect and how that relates to modesty- whatever modesty may mean to you.

Whether you are part of a religion or not, it is important to respect ourselves- especially as a young girl growing into a woman. Because really, if you don't respect yourself, who will? This is a concept that obviously surpassed me as a teenager but one that I wished was taught to me.

Once I looked pass this as a “Mormon” thing, I really got excited about it as it’s always been a dream of mine to help girls build self-esteem- the right way. Being able to tie this into fashion made it even better- and I think a lot more fun.

It’s funny how often the teacher becomes the student. It was a goal of mine to inspire these girls that even with the strict guidelines of Mormon modesty they could still be fashionable and current. 

Everyone is or should be familiar with Sydney from The Daybook- who is LDS and has a very successful fashion blog so I knew that Mormon fashion bloggers existed.  And I was going to find as many as I could to share with these girls- because one of the best tips to finding your style is having a fashion muse you can look up to- and if I could give these girls a fashion muse that shared their values and beliefs for them to relate to then by golly I would say that was a success.

What I didn’t know is how true it really was that you could still be fashionable and current while still adhering to the “garment” standards.  I am not saying I am going to be turning in my sleeveless shirts and backless cutouts just yet but who knows maybe it will happen before I am 70.