HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TO ME!!!

AND THE HUSBAND TOO, OF COURSE!

Oh yeah, and there might be a giveaway going down on this here blog tomorrow so you won't want to miss that...

Looking Forward

I know there are still a few more months left in 2012 but for me I am already half way through 2013.  Sounds crazy I know.  Work doesn't help this feeling, considering we are working on our fall 2013 line. I've been writing 2013 and discussing 2013 since the beginning of this year, so for me 2013 is practically over before it's even begun.

Having things to look forward to also makes time fly- and I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks and months...

1. California. The husband and I head out to the coast on Saturday for an entire week. We are driving the coast from L.A. to San Francisco. Can't even begin to tell you how needed this this time away is. Plus I've never been North of Santa Barbara and I love the adventure of new territory!

2. Birthday.  Monday marks my 28th birthday and the husband's 30th. Yup, we share the same day.  Would you believe me if I told you that our mom's also share a birthday? Because they do. 

3. Halloween. Must I say more?

4. Braces off. Hallelujah! Mark your calendars because November 9th is a big day!

5. Moving. Thank the heavens for aligning the stars to make this happen! No more of this.

6. Car shopping.  The husband and I have been sharing a car for the last 3 years- and it's worked out great but now I think it's time we each had our own set of wheels. 

7. Thanksgiving. Sans braces.

8. Christmas shopping.  I love buying gifts for people.  I take a lot of pride in finding that perfect gift. 

9. Christmas.  Getting to give those gifts. 

10. Building our new home... say whaaaa? We are building. It should be done in July. So looking forward to decorating. It's been way to long. You better believe there will be a lot of Pinning going on in the next few months. 

What are you looking forward to?

My Happiness Project

If you haven't already, I highly recommend reading, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  It's book that inspires and makes you want to be better and do better.  It's a book about common sense in a way, and I am a big advocate of common sense. 

I for one love learning about myself and the psychology or our personalities.  In fact it was a toss up whether to go into design or go into psychology after high school. I was particularly interested in criminal psychology. Obviously design won out on that one. The draw of a glamorous life of fashion and all... but that is neither here or there.  

The book talks about setting up some commandments for your self. Rules that define you. One's that you can fall back on. One's that set you up for success.  Goals to aspire to and live up to. 

This is what I came up for myself. 

Be Ashley
Dare To Fail
Balance is Key
Enjoy the Journey
Everything Happens for a Reason
Live with Intention
Unplug and Be Present
Be Appreciative and Give Gratitude
Don't Gossip
Be Kind
Give
Make the Time

After I initially wrote these out, some things happened in my life that kind of gave me a wake up call and I have since added one more commandment and that is LOVE my husband.  I know that sounds odd. Like a no-brainer. But too often I think we- or at least I did- come complacent in our relationships, expectant or assuming that our spouse or any love ones for that matter knows we love them without us really needing to affirm that, simply saying, "I love you" isn't enough. 

I have an amazing man. I really do. I hit the jackpot when it comes to husbands. For the most part our relationship is easy. Really easy. It's the easiest thing about my life and because of that and because my husband is so awesome and so understanding, he often takes a back seat in my life and that is not okay. Even the easiest relationships still take work and attention. I need to LOVE my husband by turning LOVE into an action and showing it every day. 

I know my husband knows that I love him but that's not enough I want him to know that he rocks my world.  

Have any of you read this book and created your own happiness project? I'd love to hear it if you did!

Any Which Way But Clean

A few weeks back a group of friends and I dressed up as bunch of Loofah's and played in some mud at The Dirty Dash.  As always, it did not disappoint!

I fell. A lot.

 

My loofah didn't hold up as well as the other ladies. I guess that's what I get for using staples instead of needle and thread...

Spina Bifida Awareness Month

click image for more information

In honor of National Spina Bifida Awareness month I have asked my sister to share her family story about my nephew’s diagnosis with this disease.

 

Before we got pregnant with Adrian, I had been going through some medical trials myself that I had not shared with anyone (until now of course). About 2 months before finding out I was pregnant I was advised by my gynecologist, that it would be unlikely that I would ever be able to conceive a child of my own. At the time I had just turned 19 years old and although kids weren’t on my mind, it’s a big life changing moment when someone tells you that you will never be a mother.

Flash forward a couple of months and I am in the emergency room for what I thought was a bad reaction to an anti-depressant that I had recently started taking, only to find out I was actually pregnant! Surprised- confused- relieved? The emotions were all over the place.  

The day we found out that Adrian had Spina Bifida is a day I will always remember as if it was yesterday. It was the day after the super bowl and the day Denny’s was giving away free breakfast. My boyfriend and I were so excited because this was the day we were hopefully going to find out if we were going to be having a little boy or a little girl! After the ultrasound was completed the nurse had simply stated she needed to make a call and disappeared for a long period of time. The first 5 minutes felt fine but as time passed I was able to sense that something wasn't right, when the nurse finally returned she passed the phone to me and told me they wanted to talk to me. My heart instantly dropped and every bad thought imaginable flooded my head to the point that I was only hearing every other word the woman was saying. I had never heard of Spina Bifida until that moment and was unclear what it meant and how it was going to impact my babies life as well as mine.

That same day we were sent to a high-risk clinic to meet with a geneticist. Although, I know this woman was only doing her job I still hate her to this day and find outrage in my meeting with her. She began to explain to us what Spina Bifida was, a birth defect of the spine. Think of a zipper, you zip your jacket up to the top and there is a bubble where the “zipper” is no longer connected, essentially that is what happens to the spine on a baby with Spina Bifida, the spine never fully develops. That’s how it was explained to me and that is still how I explain it to this day, but what she said next is what I remember most. She began trying to convince me that abortion was the best solution. I actually walked out of the meeting after telling her to F*@k off, and knowing what I now know about Spina Bifida, living it, and watching my son grow, I know I made the right choice.

We continued the pregnancy as if everything was normal, we met with a specialist prior to birth and we were doing our best to cope with the situation. The day I went into labor was the 3rd scariest day of my life because I didn't know what to expect when my son was born. Like most Spina Bifida births, our delivery would be via C-section, as this method is safer and less traumatic for the babies opening in the back.

When Adrian was born, all I heard was a brief cry and then he was gone. It wasn't like most births where the baby is passed to the mom as soon as possible, no my son was immediately taken away for evaluation. I wasn’t able to hold Adrian until 2 days after he was born; I relied on pictures that my boyfriend and family members would show me since we were at different hospitals. For any parent I am sure you can understand that this wasn't easy and I had a hard time dealing with it all.

We spent our first month at Primary Children’s Hospital with Adrian undergoing major surgery and having trouble with his breathing, we spent every day there with him from morning until night, I couldn’t tell you the amount of tears I cried watching him go through everything in that first month. We ended up being allowed home with oxygen support but that only lasted 2 weeks before we were back at the hospital due to Adrian having excessive fluid in his brain and needing to undergo another surgery to have a shunt placed in his brain that he will now have for his entire life.

Everyday was a challenge that first year; Adrian had to have multiple hospital visits including an additional surgery at 8 months old. He had to be catheterized at home and was dependent on oxygen for a long time.

Adrian’s level of Spina Bifida is an L4-L5 impact and has so far only impacted him to a level of physical challenges. Adrian cannot feel from the knee down and was born with clubbed feet, which will have to be operated on as well as a series of castings to help correct them.

Due to the lack of sensation Adrian cannot walk alone but does have a walker and leg braces to assist him and at this point in the game I think this is what is hardest for me. My son has the most vibrant personality with so much energy and it kills me to see him watch other kids “running” or “climbing” knowing that he has a desire to do these same things.

It hurts because from the very beginning of this journey I have felt the guilt that it is some how my fault that my son has to go through all this. As a parent you want to take the pain away from your child but in some cases you can only put on the front that your strong because hopefully that will make your child just as strong but our children are stronger than we think.

I see my son looking at everybody as if he is missing out but the reality of it is my son knows no different and has learned to adapt to do the things he wants to do. I remember when Adrian had his leg correction surgery and I had been crying, he woke up and the first thing he said to me was, “why you crying mom”, he has never let any of his life moments get him down and I have never seen my son truly sad. My son’s spirit has been what has kept me going, he has changed who I am and my outlook on life, he is the prime example of happiness and because he is strong he has made me strong.

   

I wouldn't change anything about my son, because I firmly believe my son is who he is today because of the things life has thrown our way; I am where I am in life because of what we have experienced. Our life has proven to us that Adversity is truly a blessing in disguise and although our journey has only begun our optimism will keep us going. 

**Nobody is completely sure what causes spina bifida. Scientists say most likely it is due to a combination of inherited (genetic), environmental and nutritional factors.

Women who do not have enough folic acid during the pregnancy have a higher chance of giving birth to a baby with spina bifida. Experts say that women of reproductive age should make sure their folic acid intake is adequate. Nobody is sure how folic acid intake prevents spina bifida from developing.

If a woman gives birth to a baby with spina bifida, she has a higher-than-normal risk of having another baby with spina bifida too (about 5% risk).

Some medications, such as some for treating epilepsy or bipolar disorder have been associated with a higher risk of giving birth to babies with congenital defects, such as spina bifida.

Women with diabetes are more likely to have a baby with spina bifida, compared to other females.

Obese women, those whose BMI (body mass index) is 30 or more have a higher risk of having a baby with spina bifida. The higher the woman's BMI is over 30, the higher the risk

Modesty

Modesty means different things to different people. So when a friend of mine asked me to come speak to her Young Women’s group at church about fashion and modesty it kind of threw me considering modesty isn’t necessarily something I am known for… as you can see from my Jr. high and High school pictures.  

The fashion thing I got- but modesty?

I have matured a lot since my high school days and when I say matured I really mean I got myself some self-esteem and “true” confidence. I don’t recommend anyone to dress the way I did back then but nonetheless it is the modesty requirements set by the LDS (Mormon) faith that is giant hurdle for me to cross and one of the main reasons I have not joined although my husband is active in the faith and would love nothing more for me to be a part of it as well. And, truthfully I wish I could be apart of it, I wish I could be that for him and promise him eternity because I really believe it is a good thing. But with that said and as petty as it sounds I personally feel there is nothing wrong with showing your shoulders- and I am obsessed with anything that is backless *swoon* and these things are definitely not garment approved- throw in the fact that I am also anti-underwear… is there really any hope? I often joke to my husband that we can be sealed in the temple when we are in our 70’s since really- I will need all the underwear support I need at that point and no one wants to see an old lady in a backless tank. (He doesn’t find me as funny as I do.)

So back to the challenge at hand- my viewpoint of modesty is different then the church’s- the church that these young ladies belong to and that I have been asked to speak to.  At this point I am really questioning my friend in choosing me- yes, I know I work in the fashion industry and these young girls will likely be impressed by my “credentials” but I am not LDS and I don’t follow the same rules of modesty that they do- how are they going to relate to me? Why will they even listen to me?

Most importantly how can I stay true to me and still give them what they need. I could easily stand up there and pretend that I am LDS and pretend that I follow their rules of modesty and completely BS it. But- I didn’t want to do that.

I do believe in Coco Chanel’s quote, “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous” and part of being classy is being tasteful, which often means leaving a bit more to the imagination.

My game plan was to not really talk about modesty in terms of the LDS faith, I’d leave that up to my friend, but I would instead talk about first impressions, taking pride in ourselves, but most importantly dressing for respect and how that relates to modesty- whatever modesty may mean to you.

Whether you are part of a religion or not, it is important to respect ourselves- especially as a young girl growing into a woman. Because really, if you don't respect yourself, who will? This is a concept that obviously surpassed me as a teenager but one that I wished was taught to me.

Once I looked pass this as a “Mormon” thing, I really got excited about it as it’s always been a dream of mine to help girls build self-esteem- the right way. Being able to tie this into fashion made it even better- and I think a lot more fun.

It’s funny how often the teacher becomes the student. It was a goal of mine to inspire these girls that even with the strict guidelines of Mormon modesty they could still be fashionable and current. 

Everyone is or should be familiar with Sydney from The Daybook- who is LDS and has a very successful fashion blog so I knew that Mormon fashion bloggers existed.  And I was going to find as many as I could to share with these girls- because one of the best tips to finding your style is having a fashion muse you can look up to- and if I could give these girls a fashion muse that shared their values and beliefs for them to relate to then by golly I would say that was a success.

What I didn’t know is how true it really was that you could still be fashionable and current while still adhering to the “garment” standards.  I am not saying I am going to be turning in my sleeveless shirts and backless cutouts just yet but who knows maybe it will happen before I am 70.

Growing

 

I struggle with the idea of growing this blog.  Don't get me wrong I want followers, I want lots of followers but at the same time that scares the crap out of me. The responsibility and pressure of that is kind of terrifying.  But at the end of the day blogging takes time and effort. I put a lot of work into this blog of mine and I want it to be shared.

In the ideal world I would want this blog to grow simply by word-of-mouth and not by me paying for ad space or joining hundreds of link-ups- although I know that is typically how it is done. And really with everyone and their grandmothers having a blog these days how else to do you get the word out about your little space in the blogosphere?

Sometimes I come across blogs that have thousands of followers and I honestly just don't get it- their content kind of sucks in my not so-very-humble opinion, so naturally I think my blog is better- yet it's teeny tiny. Probably to my own fault.  It's not that I don't want to put the work into getting more followers- it's that- I guess I doubt myself. I worry that once I get a big following everyone will realize I am just a fake. Jenni at Story of My Life said it perfectly in this post here. We often get in the way of our own goals.

And I do have goals for this blog- I have ulterior motives. I want to utilize this blog as a tool for my career goals in the fashion industry. I want to help promote the company I work for. I want to build friendships and make connections. I want to be important in the Utah fashion industry. I want to open the door to more opportunities.

And I want this blog to help me do that.

Like many of you- since it's nearly impossible to avoid- have read all the blogger rules and tips on how to grow your blog and for me I don't want to create a Facebook page or a Twitter account for my blog.  I really don't need another thing to manage and take me away from my life beyond the computer screen or more accurately my iPhone screen.  Once upon a time I did have a Facebook and Twitter account for this here blog and I deleted them this past Spring in my effort to "disconnect" and declutter my online life.

Many successful bloggers have written posts on how hard it is for them to find a balance between their blog life and their real life and I want to start the growth of this blog with that balance in place from the beginning. I understand that those tools help connect and build relationships with our readers and other bloggers but I am not willing to sacrifice even more time to social media. If you want to connect- email me.

These are just some thoughts that are swirling around in my head. Some thoughts are unfinished and still materializing but I needed to get them out.

Can anyone relate? Have advice? Feedback? I would love to hear about your own challenges, doubts, thoughts, solutions? Whatever you got- connect with me.

And please go ahead and tell me if my content sucks. Honest feedback is always encouraged over here in these parts.

Thanks for listening- eh reading...

Run the Rave

Can I just say I had so much fun dressing like a teenager. I think I may have found my true style sense in these hot pink leggings and holy t-shirt. It's kinda of like being who you really are instead of trying to be who you want to be.  And let's just be honest although I will be 28 years old next month- inside I am still that 18 year old girl that lived for the night scene and crowd surfing...

Which is why I was very excited to attend this 5k event called Run the Rave. The glow sticks make a lot more sense now huh? I wish I could tell you this event was awesome but sadly it was a huge disappointment. Probably couldn't tell that from the pictures... looks can be deceiving which is why we all love pictures. At least it looked like we had a good time and really the funnest part was getting all dressed up and taking these pictures. The rest of the event was just an excuse to do so.

I could go into why it was lame but I won't.  What I will say is that we were promised lots of glow-in-the-dark body paint and good music. What we got was house paint.. wtf... and a really crappy DJ. I was home by 11. Sad.

Tomorrow however, we have this going on and that never disappoints! Can't wait to share those pictures with you... our costumes this year are pretty awesome.

Real Estate

Shirt: H&M; Shorts: H&M; Bag: Miche

The hubs and I are ready to ditch apartment life and find ourselves a home. Problem is... I have expensive tastes.  I operate on two extremes. I either want a steal of deal that is the cheapest that we can find that I can fix up myself and on the opposite end I want something that is already done they way I want it but is at the very tip top or our budget and slightly overflowing into the "well we could live on Ramen noodles for the rest of our lives but at least our house would be awesome" scenario. I for one like me some Ramen noodles- the husband on the other hand, not so much.

And I just really need to be honest with myself, as much as a remodel sounds fun, I know myself better then that and it would never happen. I am not a DIY'er.  I'm kind of lazy. And projects take work. 

So let the house hunting begin!

Sisters and my little stud muffin of a nephew

It's a Paw-tay!

It's this little guys Birthday today.  

He has been my constant companion the last 6 years.

He knows too much. Like the really embarrassing stuff.

He puts up with my singing. 

I think I am going to spoil him a little extra today.

Happy Birthday Boo.